Howard Hyman is a member of resolution which is an organisation of family lawyers committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes. Members follow a code of practice that promotes a non-confrontational approach to family problems and encourage solutions that consider the needs of the whole family and, in particular, the best interests of the children.

Relationship Breakdown

In England and Wales about 150,000 marriages each year end in divorce.

For earlier generations the role of women in marriage was clearly defined and each knew what was expected of them. If each partner lived up to those expectations, there was a reasonably good chance that the marriage would last. But on-going development of technology, the expanding role of woman in society and increasing life expectancy have brought about a significant change in these traditional roles. Today marriages depend more on communication, intimacy, negotiation and understanding.

Many marriages go through a bad patch. If you are experiencing difficulties with your own marriage, it’s a good idea to obtain professional advice.

The Courts are increasingly taking into account the existence of pre-nuptial agreements when determining the financial issues following divorce. It is essential that such agreements are prepared at least a few weeks prior to the parties’ marriage, preferably more than 21 days, and that they make full disclosure of their financial circumstances and have independent legal advice before entering into the agreement.

Such agreements are not automatically legally binding but, if the above requirements are met, it is more likely to be taken into account. It is usually the case that such agreements do not apply in the event of the parties having children following the marriage.

Separation

For some people, divorce – for reasons of belief or faith, for example – may not be an option. Nonetheless, they may wish to live apart from their former partner but with family and financial arrangements in place. In such cases, a solicitor can draw up a Separation Agreement or Deed which can cover issues such as maintenance, the children and family home.

Each partner can also take matters further by applying to the Court for a Judicial Separation.

Divorce

A divorce is an order of the Court that formally brings the marriage to an end, leaving both parties free to remarry, if they wish. To grant a divorce the Court must be satisfied that the marriage has irretrievably broken down because of a specific reason or reasons; unreasonable behaviour or adultery, for example. It is essential that both parties seek the advice of an experienced solicitor.

Divorce or separation are unlike other legal situations because they are concerned with emotional as well as practical issues. The lives of the whole family are affected by the outcome, so the way in which a settlement is reached can be almost as important as the settlement itself.

Only the individuals involved can solve all the problems which divorce or separation brings. A good solicitor who adopts a constructive and conciliatory approach, can help reduce much of the distress associated with the ending of a marriage.

Financial and Family Matters

Divorce proceedings can include Court Orders concerned with children, financial and property matters.

If both parties can agree on all relevant issues, then a judge may be asked to make orders without anybody having to attend Court. If these matters have not been agreed, then the judge will make an order after hearing what both parties and lawyers have to say.

A solicitor will advise on how much maintenance you may be entitled to, or have to pay, and on matters such as sharing pension benefits etc.

The Home

It is inevitable that, following separation or divorce, one of the former partners will leave the family home. Where the parties cannot agree, the Court can be asked to decide who leaves and who stays, or whether the property has to be sold.

The Court’s first concern will be the proper housing of any children. The Court may often order that the parent caring for the children be allowed to remain in the home until the children complete full-time education.

The Children

Parents who are getting a divorce are often worried about the effect the divorce will have on their children. It is important for parents to remember that whilst they may be preoccupied with their own problems, they continue to be the most important people in their children’s lives.

Children will do best if they know that their mother and father will still be their parents and remain involved with them even though the marriage is ending and the parents won’t live together. Residence (formerly known as custody) disputes or pressure on a child to “choose sides” can be particularly harmful for the youngster and can add to the damage of the divorce. Research shows that children do best when parents co-operate on behalf of the child.

To minimise the trauma of bitter disputes, the Courts usually try to deal with cases concerning parents contact with their children as quickly as possible. A welfare report is prepared following which a judge will make a decision based upon all the circumstances of the case.